Wednesday, 19 August 2015

An Interview with Beer

In the Cheery spirit of the times, we here at Seeing The Lizards have decided to do something unusual for us. We don't usually do interviews, preferring to let our chief writer expound his uniquely bitter and inappropriate view of the world and its beverages. But in an exclusive to this blog, we have used the goodwill built up over the last two years to secure an Exclusive interview with Beer itself.

StL : Good evening, Beer. Both our blog's readers and us have known you for a long time. How's life finding you at the moment?

BEER : Oh, you know how it goes. Been feeling a bit tired and flat recently. Especially in busy and crowded places.  But I've been resting for the right amount of time this week, and I'm feeling good. Effervescent, if you will.

StL : Good to hear, Beer.  You've probably needed the rest as a lot of people have been talking about you.

BEER : Yeah, I've noticed. Don't know why really. I'm just your average malt-based drink. Must be all the hops they've been putting in me or something.

StL : Well, that was the main topic about a year or so ago, yes.  But apparently some people have not been as positive about you as certain other people would like.

BEER : Oh? Why's that? Have people been seeing me dispensed or presented in the wrong way again?

StL : Actually, they've been saying that although you've not been at your best recently, your drinkers shouldn't talk about it in public as it makes you look bad.

BEER : Huh?

StL : What they should do, however, is complain to your servers, quietly, and out of earshot so as not to disgrace you in front of other potential customers.

BEER : That doesn't make any sense.  If I'm not being presented right, then people should know. How will things improve if everything's being done on the sly? It took me years to be accepted as a credible drink. If anything's not right, it should be sorted out promptly and visibly.

StL : I think some of your cheerleaders are worried about you not being seen in a positive light by the, shall we say, higher echelons of society if people are badmouthing you in a public forum.

BEER : But it's not my fault if I'm served flat and lifeless. It's the ones serving me that are to blame.

StL : Do you think they're more worried about how they would look? In front of their peers and contacts? Having to admit you're not at your best sometimes?

BEER : If that's so, then I feel sorry for them. I really do.

StL : Why's that?

BEER : Look, you know me. I'm an unpretentious drink. I'm shared and enjoyed by people in an almost incidental manner sometimes. I've never bigged myself up as a major thing. Other people have done that, by pairing me with food or tasting me in glasses the size of thimbles. They're the ones trying to make me something I'm not. To be honest, I think they've lost sight of the point of me.

StL : Yes, I suppose that is quite sad.

BEER : I feel like saying to them 'I'm still Beer, guys. Enjoy me as much as you like. But enjoy me. Don't make me a grave and serious topic of discussion. I'm just a drink, not the meaning of life."

StL : Eloquently put, Beer. Thank you for your time and we hope things go well for you in the near future.

BEER : Thanks, it's good to know there are those who like me for what I am, rather than what they want me to be.