Humph

 

Humphrey Smith, owner of the Samuel Smith Old Brewery Tadcaster, has gone to the great Employment Tribunal in the sky at the age of 81.  The reaction to his death has been, shall we say, mixed.  Some have expressed sadness that one of the great old pub traditionalists has departed and the industry will never be quite the same again.  Others have said good riddance to the dismal old reactionary and are expecting those who'd been at the sharp end of his decisions over the decades will be rejoicing in the streets.

I never met Humphrey.  My local Sam Smith's pub, The Olde Blue Belle in Preston (see above) was probably too out of the way for him to give any major attention to.  Not even the cheapest pub on a street in rapid decline, it's well out of the way for most people, really.  Whenever I went in, the majority of the punters were freely ignoring Mr. Smith's famous dictums on device usage and naughty words.  I kept schtum, and my phone stayed in my pocket.  As someone who wasn't a "regular", I knew not to push my luck.

The Belle has endured several periods of closure over the last decade, and not all of them due to COVID.  Regular observers of the Sam's scene over the years will know the drill.  One day, things were normal and the next the front door was mysteriously shut with a notice taped to the window saying "MANAGEMENT COUPLE REQUIRED" and a phone number printed below (Humphrey's own, if rumours are to be believed).  This would persist for months until the next pair of suckers, sorry, young hopefuls, came in to take over.  Amazingly for Preston, the leaded windows remained unsmashed, as if any potential vandal feared Humphrey would charge down the road at them, demand they repair the damage and, the horror, take over the pub themselves. At the OBB, the latest new managers moved in just before Christmas 2025.  By all accounts, they're doing OK.

What will happen now the Humph regime is putatively over is anyone's guess.  It's presumed his son, Samuel, will take over.  Young Sam has experience, as he's run the London end of the pub estate for several years, and apparently is reckoned to be more liberal on the "draconian" rules about mobile phones and swearing than Old Dad was.  But this is more likely due to the location.  After all, it's one thing to lay down the law to a bunch of dishevelled locals in deprived Northern towns, but quite another to the overseas tourists who might wander into The Olde Cheshire Cheese in Holborn.  My prediction is that Mr. Smith Jr. will keep things the way they are.

Of course, there is a twist on Humphrey's legacy, and one not too well known in the beer blog world who have narrow horizons about refurbs, beer prices and megalomanical owners.  Sam Smith's owns the Fitzroy Tavern in Soho and for many years from the early 1990s it was the main meeting place of the capital's Doctor Who fans.  And there in their dozens they would drink cheap lager and plot and plan for the day they would take over the show and make it in their image.  And, yes, the last three showrunners of Doctor Who - Russell T. Davies. Steven Moffat and Chris Chibnall - were regulars at the Tav.  And sometimes, there may even have been a woman there, but sources vary as always.

So, we can look at what Humphrey Smith achieved in his life.  The preservation of a pub estate.  The questionable employment practices.  The really cheap beer.  The ruination of a UK television franchise, even.  Would we all ever look back at our lives and think we'd even done a tenth as much.

Humphty Dumpty had a Great Fall

Humphrey Richard Woolcombe Smith

If you're in a pub and see the man above,  do not approach him. Do not get into a debate about cask ales and NEVER a debate about being served a full pint.

My personal acquaintance with the Samuel Smith Brewery has been limited.  I once went on a day trip to Chester and did a tour of the city centre pubs.  Eventually, I chanced upon The Falcon on Lower Bridge Street.  Walking inside, I was bemused to see the kind of pub decor I'd not seen since the few times I was allowed inside licenced premises back in the early 1980s.  Looking along the bar, I failed to see anything I'd heard of.  "Hmm.  Well.  I'll havea pint of the Old Brewery Bitter" I thought "How bad can it be?".  I took out three pound coins in order to complete the transaction.

"One pound fifty", said the barmaid.

The Falcon, Chester

I'm glad I hadn't started drinking at that point, otherwise I'd've sprayed the entire bar area with brown Yorkshire bitter.  I had never paid so little for a pint, not even back in the last century when I started drinking.  I even checked the pump dispenser to see if I'd ordered a non-alcoholic beer by mistake.

It certainly wasn't the best beer I'd ever had, but I reasoned you get what you pay for.  Looking round, I realised there was not one single recognisable brand of drink, snack or anything else - a deeply unsettling experience in the 21st century.  I finished my pint and left for the Bear and Billet down the road, which turned out to be less unnerving despite being packed with Welsh Rugby fans.

Being me, on my way home, I had to find out exactly why these events happened.  I got out my laptop and looked it all up on the train home.  Yes, the Falcon was a Samuel Smith Old Brewery Pub and I found an independent forum that deals with the issues surrounding them.  To say the brewery owner is not positively depicted therein would be an understatement.

The most tactful way of describing Humphrey Smith is that he's a traditionalist.  He's inherited his family's brewery and runs it the way he wants to, as is his right.  Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to appreciate the difference between respecting the traditions of the 19th Century, and living in them.  Tales of him treating his pub managers like serfs, his pubs like a landed estate and technology like the sign of the apocolypse are many.  And woe betide you if you want any more beer in your glass than he's prepared to give you.

Humphrey will be 70 in December.  Rumours of his retirement abound, but it never seems to happen.  In fact, he's been taking more and more responsibilities at the brewery over the last few years, leading to many unsatisfactory practices, as described here in a flabbergasting article by one of his erstwhile relief managers.   .

Ye Olde Blue Bell, Preston

In so many ways, this situation is a shame.  Apparently (I've not been in the Preston Sam's, The Ye Olde Blue Bell), Smith's pubs are a throwback to the days when they were all places of cheery banter, gossip and cheap beer.  Or so Mudgie says, and he'd know.  The SSOB bottled beers have been recently lauded by Boak & Bailey of all people (though they admit "Sam Smith's is not a trendy brewery. Nor even likeable")

The main hope of many of Sam's slowly dwindling group of fans is that HRW Smith goes before the company does.  His son, Samuel is apparently being groomed to take over, but is only 26.  I say, as many commentators do, that it's sad to see a company of such potential being slowly squandered by one man's intransigence.