Sunday 4 September 2016


Yes. And it's fucking shit, too

Seems The Corb is pissing people off again.  Apparently, he wants to ban after-work drinks on the grounds that they're "sexist".  Not what he appears to have meant, but when has Corbyn been misquoted or taken out of context by our lovably impartial and agenda-free mass media?

If he had said that, however, I would have agreed with him.  Not sure about the "sexist" part, not really for me to judge. But after-work drinks are appalling.

Last November, where I work an "event" was organised for a Curry Night.    Me?  Well, I did the poster that went up on the staff noticeboard (I'm the only person there competent in Microsoft Publisher).  That'll be it, I thought, done my bit. No need for me to go.  But they invited me anyway. "Note to self" I thought "Be ruder next time."

It was set up for a Sunday, and everyone was supposed to meet in the nearer of the two local Wetherspoons.  Thankfully, that's not one of the days I work, so I spent a couple of hours in the local fortifying myself with Evil Keg before walking down to Spoons.  Best get it over with, I sighed.  It was 7pm and I was the first to arrive.

As is their wont, nobody arrived simulteneously.  They trickled in one at a time and we had to keep moving to ever bigger tables, as Spoons is not really amenable to furniture shifting. An hour in, I was at the bar ordering a pint of something, when the works Lad Clique turned up.  They ordered Jagerbombs and downed them while their pints of lager were being poured.

"If it's going to be that kind of night, I don't want to be here." I said to myself.  I didn't go to the curry house.  Using my finely-honed avoidant skills, I slunk off without anybody noticing. Within 15 minutes, I was back at the local, pondering my narrow escape.

Next morning, I was in for 8am.  Having gone to bed at 11:30pm I was relatively fresh.  Which is more than can be said for my colleagues, many of whom were hung over.  Some hadn't even turned up for work.  One admitted driving from a nearby town quite probably over the legal limit.  That day, many tales were told of the less than edifying behaviour of certain people who had exceeded their alcohol tolerance at The Popworld club on Church Street.

And these events are meant to improve productivity and workplace cohesiveness.

I knew enough not to stay out.  These things rarely end well, and are probably the cause of many missed days work and accidents the day after.  Ever since, I've come up with excuses not to go on works nights out - some real, some pre-emptive, some entirely fictional. I'm sure I'll be seen as some kind of killjoy, censorious prig for not going.  But, sadly, I just don't enjoy these things.

They're planning a Bridget Jones Movie night next.  I said give me the date.  So I can plan something else.


  1. Many years ago, I ended up in the pub after work with a new face in the department, who stood me a drink and then came out with some awful bit of forced jollity along the lines of I hope there are going to be people around at 5.00 on Friday, because I invariably go to the pub at 5.00 on Friday, and I might be forced to go by myself!. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I was a part-timer, and that I wouldn't be anywhere near the office on Friday at 5.00 if I could help it. Or, for that matter, that I'd rather go to the pub by myself than with some random workmates. I've had some great evenings in the pub with one or two friends, but 'friends' is the operative word.

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  3. I’m with you all on this. There’s nothing worse than forced “bonhomie”, and the thought of having to spend time in the company of people you tolerate at work, but go out of your way to avoid the rest of the time, is something I can do without.

  4. I used to enjoy going out for a drink after work sometimes, but we were friends who happened to work together. There was nothing enforced about it, and it wasn't organised by management; in fact, it was our habit to ban any work-related talk.

  5. I am lucky that I actually like most of the people I work with and so I'm happy to go for a couple of post work pints, or a Friday liquid lunch, with them, I am also 'lucky' that I live about 15 miles away and this being Virginia, public transport is a bad joke and thus I have to drive. Couple of pints, a responsible drive home, often via a brewery to fill a growler, and a nice evening of beer and films. Boring old bugger, that's me.

  6. Excuse my ignorance... what does the acronym TOFTS mean ?

  7. Why not get a job where you like the people you work with?