Your friendly local CAMRA newsletter for Northwestcentral Lancashire.
Not much happening as far as membership goes in this issue. Still only 3 active members in our branch. Come on you bastards, and get to the next committee meeting at the Cask & Condition next month. I’m finding it increasingly hard to get my dog and cat to come each time to make the quorum. Not to mention getting them to drink a pint of Scruttock’s Old Todger.
New Pub Report
It appears a new hostelry has opened in our area since I updated the last pub list. It’s called The Clown’s Revenge Bar. I went there to rate the ales and found they were selling their pints 2% under measure and 0.5 degrees too warm. Needless to say, I have reported them to Cask Marque and am noting it here so our members don’t have to put up with such shoddiness. I hope the place closes down, the twats.
Keg Is Evil
Reading the beer blogs recently, I see there have been arguments about a new category of beer called “craft keg”. I’ve been a branch secretary for 35 years and have never heard the like. I remember the days of Worthington E and Watney’s Red Barrel and don’t want to go back. Apparently, these beers are of so-called “higher quality” than old keg. But I say they are WORSE. They are PRETENDING to be good beer which makes them WORSE than the tasteless fizzy keg of the 70s. If these new “craft beers” become popular, what’s to stop Big Brewers from marketing their smooth mild as “craft beer brewed with highest quality ingredients”? Repeat after me - KEG IS EVIL AND MUST BE KILLED OFF LIKE THE DEAD BEER IT IS! Do it NOW! You’ll be sorry when in future there’s NO real ale, and you have to pay £8 for a pint of John Smiths.
Several pubs have closed recently in our branch area. I would name them but they were only student and chav pubs selling lager to louts and idiots. Some would say that any pub closing and people losing their jobs is a tragedy, but I disagree. Any so-called pub that sells chemical filth to morons deserves to close in my opinion. As long as MY favourite pubs which cater for decent people like CAMRA members stay open, then that’s fine and dandy. Only real ale drinkers deserve to drink in public. The rest of the bastards can sit at home in front of the football with their supermarket slab of Carling.
(the above is a cruel parody of the worst sort of CAMRA activism and should not be taken as representative of my views of CAMRA as a whole)