Thursday 29 January 2015

News in Brief #11


Brewers Indulge in Collaboration Madness

Inspired by the new fashion for Collaboration Brews, every brewer in the world has teamed together to make a beer that will be in a pub near you soon.

Made with pale malt and cascade hops, these being the only things everyone could agree on, the massed brewers set upon the long and important decision of agreeing a name.

"We decided on 'A Beer' " condescended London brewster Emily Popartcan "It was the only thing we reached a consensus on."

"Had to list everyone involved, though. Pumpclip's bloody big."

Just a bit of fun

Sexism Defeated Thanks to Beer Festival

In Somalia this month, 20,000 12 year old girls were forced to undergo genital mutilation, while in Sudan 1000 female school pupils were abducted and impelled to marry Boko Haram soldiers.

Meanwhile, at a Manchester beer festival, activists ensured that a couple of mildly sexist T-shirts were covered up so CAMRA members couldn't ogle at their vague misogyny.

Feminist and easy victory seeker Molly Roanew told us "No longer can women be oppressed in this world. I'm glad I came to this beer festival to defeat this evil.".

" My PR person said I should do this. What's 'beer' anyway?"

Politics Invades Beer Blogging World

UKIP huckster and non-controversy-seeker-dear-me-no Mudgie Mudgington was aghast to see people discussing politics on his blog this week.

"Honestly," he said slightly convincingly "just because I do a post saying Nigel Farage will be the saviour of public drinking in Britain, and that the Lab/Lib Dem/Con/Green/SNP/Plaid Cymru Conspiracy want to execute anyone even contemplating consuming alcohol, everyone thinks I'm some kind of bizarre scaremongering loony. Surely people realise the threat to their lives? And more importantly, the threat to me and my pint in this cheap pub."

"Politics is bad for you. I'm only interested in what's right. "

1 comment:

  1. "I see a lot of 'Why don't you pay attention to [worse thing]???' when I tweet about feminism, but never when I tweet about Transformers." - Lindsay Ellis.

    Your juxtaposition of feminist causes doesn't in any way invalidate the criticism of sexist t-shirts at CAMRA festivals. However, your use of the words "mildly" and "vague" do show why it's important for such criticism to continue.